Okay, JPMorgan thinks Bitcoin could hit $240,000? Sure, and I'm expecting pigs to fly out my ass tomorrow morning. I mean, let's be real, these are the same guys who probably told everyone Lehman Brothers was a solid investment right before the whole thing went kablooey.
Crypto's "Macro Asset" Mirage: More Like Macro Bullshit
The Macroeconomic Mirage
They're saying crypto is "behaving like a macro asset" now, influenced by the big picture economic forces instead of just the usual crypto pump-and-dump schemes. Oh really? So, the same "macroeconomic forces" that are making my grocery bill look like a mortgage payment are gonna magically propel Bitcoin to a quarter of a million dollars? Give me a break. Who are they trying to kid?
And this whole thing about institutional investors "stabilizing flows" and "anchoring long-term prices"... It sounds great on paper, like some consultant's PowerPoint presentation, but I ain't buying it. Institutions are just as greedy and irrational as the rest of us, maybe even more so. They're just playing with bigger piles of money.
Options Expiry: More Like "Options Exploitation," Am I Right?
Options Expiry: A Rigged Game?
Then there's this options expiry nonsense – $16 billion in Bitcoin and Ethereum options expiring. They say the "max pain point" for Bitcoin is $100,000. Historically, the price tends to move toward that zone. Surprise, surprise. It's almost like the whole thing is rigged to benefit the market makers. And we're supposed to believe this isn't just another way for the big guys to fleece the little guys?
Speaking of rigged games, I still can't get over the fact that Ticketmaster is essentially a sanctioned monopoly. You try buying concert tickets these days without wanting to punch a hole through your monitor.
Bitcoin ETFs: Wall Street's New Shiny Toy?
Bitcoin ETFs: A Temporary Reprieve
And the Bitcoin ETFs? They saw $3.55 billion in outflows in November. Outflows! BlackRock's iShares Bitcoin Trust (IBIT) recorded $2.2 billion in outflows alone. So, Wall Street is "bullish" on Bitcoin miners shifting to AI? Offcourse they are. It's the shiny new distraction. Anything to keep the money flowing.
Here's the deal: crypto ownership is up, supposedly. Two out of three American adults are "familiar" with crypto. Familiar with it being a volatile rollercoaster, maybe. They also say 28% of Americans own crypto now. Okay, but how many of those people are actually *profiting*? How many are bagholders still waiting to break even from the last "crypto winter"? According to a recent report,
2025 Cryptocurrency Adoption and Consumer Sentiment Report, consumer sentiment remains mixed.
FLAMGP's "AI": Same Clowns, Different Circus?
The Bottom Line: Fool Me Once...
FLAMGP is out there touting their "AI-based risk monitoring" and "liquidity-responsive asset allocation." It all sounds impressive, right? But let's not forget, these are the same clowns who are making a killing off of volatility. They don't care if Bitcoin goes to the moon or crashes into the Mariana Trench, as long as they're getting their cut.
So, What's the Real Story?
It's all hype, smoke, and mirrors. Bitcoin to $240K? Maybe. But I'm not holding my breath. I'm more likely to see my ex-wife win the lottery and send me half. Don't fall for it.
